If you read my blog from Wednesday and dealing with what I feel is “devastating” news, a moment to regroup can ease things a “little”. I know I can’t understand god’s plan or why he didn’t answer my prayers but I can look back at 2017 and the re-build of myself. I know I trusted god to start me in the journey and the changes that made me only made me a stronger woman after the breakdown. Each moment we live we may disagree with but do we stop trusting god? When I found out the news you better believe I wanted to give up my faith. I mean it’s easier for me to join the enemy and go back to drinking and smoking weed to hide from the pain, that’s what the devil wants MY POWER again. Well I will not do it! I reflected on where I came from originally “MY MODEL” my family which is what shaped me, my parents & their habits (addictions), my siblings and their afflictions things that were outside of my control but yet had impact on my being & molded me none the less. I reflected and reviewed the woman in the mirror who I AM currently today and not yesterday, going over the positive elements I bring to the world. I may not see the true impact of what I bring but I can tell you I am more WHOLE in my true self than I have ever been. Was I going to let this devastation change all this? No some how I must rise against this learn to wish him well and LET HIM GO! He is not apart of my story anymore, he does not get to live in the “moments’ I get to create nor am I going to miss out the opportunities of my present and future by living in the past. See I learned with so many losses that moments are rare, once in a lifetime opportunities and I have been blessed to take them….LIVE THEM!
What is part of my dream from hear on out? Who is apart of my team in 2018 (need to make sure who I welcome in my life is going to support me in making things happen)? Sometimes when you feel like falling apart remember your rebuild because it was all worth it and there is no turning back.
“Thy Will Be Done Lord”