Over Come It All…….Start Again!


So as you can tell “life” has kept me away and by that I mean excuses: shame, failure, be-littlement. For the past month or so life has had a hold on me, “LIFE” and by that I dont mean the walk with Christ. See when there’s a window of opportunity to sneak in the enemy will prevail, making all your old habits & dysfunctions that once rained dead, return to life again but with MORE POWER! Trying to escape these chains again has been harder than  I ever imagined. But everyday they got stronger I KNEW I had to find a way somehow-someway to lay them to rest AGAIN! In reassessing my life and looking at the signs presented…see if we clearly see there are always signs for you, messages so to speak. This sermon from Pastor John Gray came across my youtube feed called ‘Cost of the Clean-up”, not only did I cry watching it but it was a reality check on ME! See we get so caught up in cleaning up things, our life ourselves that we forget we are not in charge he is, and is that we end up making a mess of our lives. Prime example I put myself out there to date again and I swear to you my best friend who walks the path told me “Girl, only god can send you whom is trully meant for you and that person to compliment the completeness you are”, well I didn’t listen. I thought I would swipe right or left to see whom was suitable and you know what NO ONE HAS BEEN, they all want the vanity of sex with out putting in the time, effort, to get to know someone before that act of passion is shared.  Besides for this problem I have been facing heavy chains, you know the ones your not good enough, you will always settle for less, you don’t deserve …yea those words. The words that once were ricocheted off me now stuck to me, where did it start and why is it still here? I know when this all started and I numbed myself to escape every part of emotion so I didn’t feel the pain, more circumstances , more numbing.  I finally… I THINK anyway have come to the reality of life again. Its not fair and IT HURTS like HELL and if we will only seek the right counsel rather than the opposite we could continue to drive forward on this path called life rather than keep rewinding, pause and continue to strive in slow motion. THE CHAINS HAVE TO BE BROKEN AGAIN….!!!  I needed to start to re-focus the lens on life, get rid of the pain, the doubt, the fear, for that only holds you. I AM MADE FOR SO MUCH MORE! I need to re group whom is in my life, do they add value or take away? Is their perspective going in the same as mine, if not they are not meant to be there? Most importantly where is my faith in all this, Isiah 54:17 states No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord. See being a follower of Jesus there is no tiptoe walk thru the tulips, its not easy…..I mean look at the life Jesus lead, he performed miracles only to be ridiculed, preached only to be beaten, in his final moments of his life only 3 people were present: not the lepers, the blind man, half of his apostleship but his faith in God, his belief that what he did mattered and as you see IT DID!

So in all this its not how the world sees you what circumstances are thrown your way, its how GOD SEES YOU! See you as god sees you, trust in the path that he puts in front of you, and in doubt talk to him, being caught up in the midst of anything else leads to less of what you DESERVE.


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At 42 years old I'm finally learning the purpose of life. Life changed for me this year in ways I could never have imagined, at my darkest days God showed me the light and brought me back to life. Sometimes you must lose it all in order to start again and this time with meaning. Being greatful for the blessings you have and for the blessing you can bestow on others. Realizing what is truly important in life is the impact you bring on others. I had always wanted to use my personal training to give women back power, power that I felt the first time I fell after a bad break up. I used training to rebuild myself but as explained in My Story is was never a complete rebuild. This year being ripped to my core I was able to rebuild myself not in the physical sense this time but the mental, emotional and spiritual foundations. See being fit is about completion of mind, body & spirit. I want to be able to help women see their true potential in life and each other.

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